Hey Gorgeous!!!
As a little girl, I remember sitting and staring out the window.
I was so excited! Waiting for someone special to come pick me up to whisk me off for an adventure together.
But too often I was still staring out the window counting the cars go by 30, 45, 60 minutes later.
It left an invisible imprint on my little girl tender heart, that was tangibly felt by my body,
In those moments, counting cars.... I knew I never wanted to feel that way again.
So I made an agreement with myself: If I could simply: perform well enough. Be elite enough. Be the best.
Then I would be valued.
So I dove into every sporting event, every honors class, even graduating high school early.
I valued applause because to me, that meant being worthy of love. It meant people showed up.
The day after receiving a prestigious degree, should have been some of the best days of my life, it felt empty. Lonely. There were no achievements left. No boxes left to check.
Now what?
I tried everything to outrun the crippling unworthiness deep in my heart. But when you're always running, things eventually start to break down.
I had to learn a new way to live. A new way to feel worthy of love. A new way to hold peace instead of stress and anxiety.
I had to learn unforced rhythms of grace.
