Hello there, I'm Megan!
I'm so honored to share a piece of my story with you, in hopes that you too will find freedom!
For years, I felt helpless inside my own body.
The weight of the pressure to perform and be successful was crushing, yet I was willing to perform for acceptance. I desperately wanted to be fully known and deeply loved but terrified to walk out of the dark as I just knew they were waiting with stones in their hands ready to cast them.
My wardrobe was a messy bun and yoga pants. I wanted to dress cute but the clothes at my size were not made for fashion. They were made baggy for hiding the muffin top. Who had time for fashion anyway, the kids are already asking what’s for breakfast? Fall was my favorite season as I could hide my body.
My marriage was on the rocks as I hugged the side of the bed each night. How could he possibly think I’m attractive after having 2 kids. Doesn’t he know my body is overweight, for goodness sacks my thighs touch. The things he says about me being sexy are just lies so he can have what he wants. Doesn’t he know I’m exhausted at the end of the day trying to keep the tiny humans alive. I mean, who does he think he is, rubbing my back at 10 pm at night when 3 days’ worth of his clothes are on the ground still.
I felt like I was running on the hamster wheel of the daily grind. I used food as a counterfeit comfort and was 100 pounds overweight. I tried to take a deep breath but felt stuck in the 6-foot grave being buried alive under each demand of the pressure to perform in a certain way to be loved. How could I possibly be loved with all the excess weight I’m is carrying around?
I went to college to get a good degree, because that’s the “only way to be successful”. I had no margin in my life from the ever growing to do list. The bills were flooding in. Paying for the house, the cars, all the kid’s things, the medical bills and the $1800 a month collage loan was suffocating. My heart was heavy, I thought there must be something more to this life than this.
I never want my daughter to feel unloved and unseen. I wanted to break the chains of bondage but had no idea how. I knew all the Sunday school songs and memorized the most popular bible verses. Heaven knows, I didn’t break any of the “Thou shall not rules”. I wondered “Where is God in my life?” as I felt stuck in the grave. No ounce of my being felt free.
I needed connection, freedom from the pressure and simplicity. I was on the search for love and belonging. I often used a McDonald’s coke and 2 pack of chocolate chip cookies for a moment to myself. The sugar gave me a temporary high and relief, even if it was only for a moment.
And then something changed!
I have been on a journey of becoming healthy, whole, and free in my body. I learned how to get free, stay free and now I get to set others free.
Here is my hand, I’ll show you the way.
