It was a girls shopping trip kind of day! I was in junior high. We were eating lunch at Texas Road house which felt super fancy when you come from a family of six. One member of the party refused to eat the rolls, as she was watching her figure. Mind you she was about a size 4, or something super tiny. She wouldn't put the dressing on her salad because dipping the lettuce into the dressing cup meant she was going to consume less calories.
The other people at the table praised her. I heard the conversation turn into talking about others and the size of their waste line. It was a comparison of size to worthiness.
It stuck on my heart like hot glue, I felt the burn. Having a super small body was a praise worthy thing. It was a thing of value. If you were fit then you had worth. My brain also made the connection, no matter how wrong it was, if you were not slim and trim you didn't have value.
Freedom comes when we stop beating ourselves up from missing the mark and start getting curious about why. The story above, I have used to self-sabotage way too many times.
Except, I went the opposite way. Can they still love me even if I am not the size they want me to be? I'm not a size 2 so I might as well enjoy the rolls, right. It's only praise worthy when I'm making big leaps to change my body shape.
I had to run to the Father and ask for forgiveness. I was not looking to Him for my value. I was dismissing His love and looking to see what man (or in this case women) valued. I was not caring for my temple well.
We are doing heart work here, which will get you WAY further than any meal plan out there you can find. Now, it's your turn.
What has been a struggle for you on this journey? When was a time that you saw other people mistreat you for your size?
Come hang out with us in the Create Your Dream Life Group the home of the #dessert for breakfast revolution is housed! Check out the cooking show there on Saturday's at 10:00 am Eastern Standard Time.
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