I feel like I could puke. My entire body is telling me to run in the opposite direction. Just wave that little white flag of surrender and say peace out. Have you ever tried something new before and felt like running away was a reality you were considering?
Starting something new can have so many emotions that can bubble up. We can be excited for the newness of what is in front of us, but when the work begins, we want to tuck our tail and back away. As I am working through the revelation wellness instructor training, I’m feel all kinds of emotions. It’s almost like being on an emotional rollercoaster. One moment, I am strong and bold and the next turn I feel like I’m free falling only not strapped in to anything to catch me.
What I’m learning in this process is to become curious about my feelings and aware of what thoughts are flowing in my head. Am I telling myself “this is too hard?” “I can’t figure this out?” “Who do I think I am?” One thing I’m learning is that my feelings need a friend but my thoughts need taken to court. 2nd Corinthians 10:5 tells us to “bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ”
The thought of “this is too hard” comes from of feeling of unbelief that I can do this and be safe to put myself out there when I don’t feel like I know what I’m doing. The thought needs to be ran through the word of God. When something seems to hard for my kids I am quick to recite Philippians 4:12 “ I can do all things through Christ who give me strength.” For the longest time, I believed that my feelings needed to be taken to court too, but really my feelings need a hug.
The feeling of fear of judgement, shame if I don’t get it right, sadness if it’s not worthy enough… they all need a hug. They need loved into a safe place. This happens in the secret place. For me that’s at 5am in the morning with my Bible, journal, and listening to Jesus. Our feelings are a window into our beliefs. What we believe becomes our reality. Our beliefs are formed from our thoughts about past experiences we have had. That is why our thoughts are so powerful and need corrected when out of order. Our thoughts eventually become our beliefs and we live out our actions based on our beliefs.
When trying this new thing of becoming a fitness teacher, gospel preacher I am giving myself the gift of time and the gift of grace. Who said I had to have it right the first time? Who said trying something new and not getting it right wasn’t praise worthy progress? Who said learning a new skill meant I better not mess up?
Get curious with your feelings my friend! They are a window into your heart of what you are believing about yourself. They can be traced back to a thought we had that did not line up with the Word of God. What if you could learn to try something new without being triggered by past expectations that you or someone else placed on you?
Drop in the discussion chat below what new thing have you been wanting to try but you are holding back because it all feels overwhelming? Give yourself the gift of time and grace too! It’s been placed on your heart for a reason.
My response to my husband’s boxers on the bathroom floor is not battle of flesh and blood.
When I was younger… I was loud, bold, free and was not good at organization.
My room was fun and to me that was messy play and toys everywhere! Can you relate? Was your room messy as a kid too?
I was told “It’s a pigsty in here” but my perception was “you are too much, why can’t you EVEN, you are a pig, it’s a bother to help you clean it”
A simple comment not meaning anything was a seed that the enemy used to take root into my heart.
What agent do you think I used to cover the pain of being seen as “insert weakness”. It was FOOD!
Now insert the boxers on the floor as a married woman at 34 years old. Me getting angry about them is really just fear “what will people think of me if they come over and his boxers are on the floor.”
I’m learning that anger is a body guard for fear. So now, when anger comes up, I get curious about what fear is behind the anger.
Fear is a mask for sadness. It covers up the broken parts in our hearts. So, the boxers on the floor and me getting angry goes back to a root of being seen as messy and being told something as a little girl.
Instead of choosing to act on the anger, I am using a weapon of warfare it’s called love!
This is more about my healing than anything else. This is me choosing to understand the why’s behind the emotions that surface. This is me recognizing roots that get to come out. This is me becoming aware of why I choose to turn to food. This is me saying I have left things lay too and I am choosing to rejoice in the fact that I can come along side the person I love most.
My husband does the dishes, makes the bed, homeschools our children, provides an income for our family, is doing a renovation for a rental home and he leaves his boxers on the floor. The anger that comes out over the boxers actually has very little to do with him!
I dare you to be brave, to and get curious when anger comes, and see if there too is a fear covering it up. Can you relate to this? Come on over to this wonderful community of women working on themselves to uncover their relationship with food to find freedom in Christ.
XO,
Megan
I think my eyes about bugged outside of my head when I read this scripture! Seriously Lord, you can have it. It was a nice little chuckle but it kept coming to the front of my mind. I take that as a nudge from Holy Spirit saying " I have more for you in this, let's unpack it together. "
So I started to explore more, what does it mean "All the fat belongs to the Lord"? How do I give it to him? Why on earth would the people from way back when want to keep the fat for themselves.
Here is what I found. The word fat in Hebrew literally means fat. You know how sometimes a word in English can have an entirely different meaning in Hebrew or Greek as it was orginally intended. It's mentioned 12 different times in 11 verses in the Bible, He is serious about the fat! Or really is there more going on here?
In those times, people that carried around extra fat were know as wealthy! They had the money and the supplies to comsume more foods. Having a muffin top and thunder thighs was something to flaunt around before others as a display of " I have arrived, look at me, I am successful." So when they were making sacrifical offerings God was telling them that all the fat of the sacrifice belonged to the Lord.
He was asking them to lay down their status with the sacrifical animal and not keep it for them selves. It was about their heart. It was about their pride. It was about tearing down the high places they were white knuckling as a place of status.
Well, that is a whole different play on words when it comes to "all the fat belongs to the Lord." My next question lead right into another, "what is the fat in my life?" "what about my actual fat Lord, let's not forget about that."
I unpacking the rest of the questions in a video here. Come on over and lets take a deeper dive at how we can let go of the high places we are holding onto.... even if it's our body fat!
XO,
Megan
I was sitting there on Sunday afternoon chatting away with my husband planning for the week ahead. This time I was really going to do it! I was going ALL IN on a new healthy eating plan! Monday was the day to start as the world likes to tell us.
So that meant Sunday dinner was like a last chance meal! The last chance for eating anything that tasted remotely good. But you know what they say… nothing tastes as good as feeling good feels. So my taste buds are just going to have to suffer.
I purchased all the grocery items on my new shopping list. Everything was cut up and in the fridge. Diving head first into a new plan was going to catapult me into the dream body the world told me would bring me joy and lasting peace. I just knew this time was going to be different...until it wasn’t! You know it probably lasted about a week or two, maybe a month if I was really on a roll.
Over time, I repeated this cycle again and again. They call it yo-yo dieting! I call it bondage!
What I started to learn in the “on again and off again” hamster wheel was that my need for speed to fix this problem of mine was actually causing more harm than good! In grad school, I learned that with exercise when you speed up the movement that is when dysfunction steps in.
The faster we do the squat the easier it is to have an injury when it’s not performed with good body alignment. It smacked me right in the face! DUH MEGAN…. Running faster towards the goal of a “beautiful body” was only showing up the dysfunction that was already there.
I was trying to slap a band aide on the wound of being rejected because of my body size by achieving weight loss at full throttle. I had to slow down, think about what patterns I was producing. It’s not about more, more, more or faster, faster, faster… It’s about better.
I started reading the compound effect and learned that … There is a tipping scale of progress. One small seemingly insignificant habit changed at a time compounded daily will create massive momentum.
Welcome to the backwards way. Slow is better so we can do it with correct form as dysfunction shows up with going too fast at the beginning.
Matthew 25:23 “The master said, ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together!’
We are being called to be faithful with the small amount we have. That may look like drinking water or taking a walk this week as your small portion to offer up. He is rejoicing to see the work begin and it’s good!
If you are looking for a safe place to learn how to do this healthy eating thing with peace and lasting joy come on over to Create Your Dream Life group. Where we start with dessert for breakfast.
I sat with Colton on the bathroom floor the other day…
I was getting ready to go work and Colton was making our breakfast.
It was a moment when time is no longer on your side and both kids felt the need to be in the bathroom with you…
I’m grateful they want to be close, but good golly this momma just needed to get ready, emotions were building up as I felt the struggle between needing to be alone to move quicker and savoring the time with them before I left for work.
Colton brought the plate of sausage links into the bathroom to COMPLAIN.
I verbally processed the situation and kindly asked him to please take our breakfast into the kitchen. I could feel my shoulders started to get tense.
As he went to pick up the plate it tipped and all the links went tumbling to the floor with many landing in my husband’s shoe.
That was a breaking point. I saw rage pulsating out of his 9 year old body. Instantly anger flooded him.
I invited him to sit down right there on the bathroom floor. He could hardly gather himself he was so upset.
I knew from my recent training with revelation wellness that anger can be fear's body guard.
Don’t miss that: ANGER CAN BE FEAR’S BODY GUARD!
What would your reaction have been?
In the past, I would have let the anger that was building come out. We all know that it would have made me feel better to release the tension that had been building.
How many times have you overflowed with anger at your children? Especially when you are pressed for time and now your breakfast is on the floor in a shoe no longer edible.
He wasn’t a child that needed to be reprimanded, he was a child that needed to be loved.
So we sat, we breathed, and we took time to uncover what was really going on in his heart.
He brought the sausage into the bathroom because he was afraid he was going to be left out.
His emotions sky rocketed at the drop of the links in the shoe for fear of disappointment.
I pierced darkness over his fears with life giving words. He left that moment with love that his heart needed.
Friend, the only way I learned this skill is by giving it to myself first! I had to learn what story my emotions were telling me, then instead of telling them to “be quiet” to suppress them, to shame them, I started to embrace them as if they were a part of the 5 year old version of myself that simply needed loved in the moment and not scolded.
Often, my choice of comfort rather than sitting and receiving love has been to turn to food. It’s a guarantee high to the brain. I’m not kidding, it really is. Your body releases a hormonal response when you eat certain foods.
If you have ever used food for an emotional comfort, I understand.
The next time you find yourself needing an emotional fix with food, think about what it would look like to receive the goodness of God’s love over you in that moment.
Be still and Be loved my precious friend!
If you want to join us for more heart work as we travel the path to food freedom then come join us here.
